![]() Get one that makes you do the work and helps you dig in. I do not mean the ones that sit there, nod and say,” how does that make you feel?’ and nothing else. There are a few things I would say about seeking professional help, choose a professional that you relate to, and I don’t mean one that agrees with everything you say. ![]() So why do we get judgemental when someone shares they are seeing someone for help to better themselves? Personal development and saving a good marriage seem far more important than a Pro Athlete trying to get a few percentages better. Sometimes you will have announcers even mentioning it and complementing it. I think of it like when professional athletes hire a coach to improve their swing or throw, or maybe even see a sports psychologist, and nobody says anything. If you are dealing with serious issues, the stigma of asking for help nowadays is not the same as in the past when it may have been regarded as weak. ![]() If any relationship is worth it, you must be willing to grow and change, allowing for some compromise. That goes both ways, I’m simply sharing a little of my side of things. That takes being honest with yourself, knowing it is okay to have things about you that need work and having a good support system in place. The idea is to prevent unfortunate situations when I am around people that don’t deserve the brunt of whatever I am enduring. I have been working on noticing the signs during a tough week and recognizing that I need to take the time to feel that I am not in a good place. Add in a week of stress, not enough positive challenges, one too many adult beverages and I can be a hard person to be around, which is not an easy thing to admit. ![]() I always tell my wife when I’m struggling with the fact I don’t have enough challenges happening in my life, she knows I’m not always good at sitting idle. This is the point where we need to really dig deep and share to figure out what each person needs and then the support for one another can come. If you do it for the other person, eventually resentment will come from that, and then it is only prolonging an evitable ending, or worse, a very unhealthy relationship for however long it gets drug out…What kind of life is that? Each of us should be doing that for ourselves, even if we aren’t trying to save a relationship. That is why I think it is so important to keep reinventing yourself, looking for new things to learn, and bringing something a little different to the table. The routine becomes so commonplace that we typically don’t feel it until it becomes bad, draining, and starts to cause problems. A little time will pass enjoying each other, having fun, and then more than likely they’ll fall into the same routine that ended everything to begin with. ![]() For example, I have known couples that will separate, then miss each other, forget what got them there in the first place, and get back together. I would suggest truer words have never been spoken when it comes to bad habits, and at some point we have all probably experienced this on a small or large level. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results”, - Albert Einstein. ![]()
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